*TeeNie* (sunsetsky) wrote,

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Just lookin back

I was just takin a look at a few of my previous entries & found this one from July 13th, 2001. Take a look:

They had no idea
They had no idea what was going through my mind.
They have no idea how I feel. They have no idea what I wanted to do tonight, and no idea what went on upstairs.

Kneeling on the bathroom floor with tears running
down my face... began to prick my wrist with a pin, then put it down and caressed my fragile skin with a razor blade... up and down my arm, stopping at my wrist. I held it there for a second or two, and began to stare. Though I did not, I wanted to cut. I thought about you, and how you are always there. I thought of you and began to care. Though you are there, I still want to cut. If I didnt have you, I probably would've had the guts.

How fucking stupid was I? Well, Im not that stupid anymore so thats all that matters. I have been looking back and thinking alot about how my life has changed since I started highschool. I met alot of new people, changed my outlook on life ... & alot of things really. I learned alot about life since I started HS & Im sure I'll learn alot more before I graduate. Things change, people chage, everything changes eventually. Thats life. I have alot of regrets but that will soon change. I am going to enjoy the rest of this year & then next year(my last year of HS). I really want certain things to change & I want to be happy. So I'm gonna work on that.
Well, I think I've bored you enough for now. Until next time, *smooches*
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